This may seem random, but I think I'll be able to tie it all together...maybe. :) Today has been a rough day. When I reflect on it now I know that the things I worried about and cried about may seem petty and I hate that they get to me, but it does and if I could change it and make me different I would in a heart beat! Anyway... school is rough. I just hate my classes and its hard to be motivated to study and do homework when you don't enjoy any of your classes and you have teachers that aren't competent and can't teach (this topic alone I could talk about forever, so I won't go there.) And tonight we had a Youth In Mission meeting and I was so discouraged after hearing how good everyone's fundraising is going when mine sucks. I don't doubt that God can and will provide its just so discouraging and hard when everyone else is doing so well.
Well in this meeting too we had to share our testimony with each other. When I heard this I didn't know what to say. I have gone on a couple mission trips and have had to prepare my testimony so many times whether it was for these trips or youth group or whatever, and its always ends up being different.
I got to thinking after, What is my story? Personally, I feel like my life has been pretty uneventful and boring, but I do have a story and I'm just trying to put it into words that can influence and impact those that hear. Since I became a christian when I was real young I feel like my testimony should focus more on what I've been learning and what He is teaching me right now. Well that ends up being a whole lot of stuff and it's kinda hard to narrow down. So right now I'm in a quandary over whether to write a "testimony" right now and just read that whenever I need to in Africa or just reflect on all that God is teaching me then and speaking about that...And then I got to thinking about what a testimony really is and if there's even a specific what you should say and what you shouldn't. I know this is random and probably isn't as hard as I'm making it, but I really don't know what to say in my testimony that I have to have prepared whenever I'm asked in Africa. So I guess I'll be contemplating this until I leave in May. I hear they may ask me to preach a sermon randomly too while I'm over there so thats a whole other story and experience...we'll just worry about that if it comes!
I guess the way this can tie in is I know a part of my story is how I need to try and stop worrying about things and leaving it in God's hands and have him take these burdens from me. Which is part of the reason it's been such a rough day. And if anyone even reads this your prayer would be appreciate about my trip this summer and raising funds and for me to just make it through the rest of the semester! It's much appreciated! :)
