Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Called to a purpose...

This is my second post in one day...its a record! Today I only had two of my classes and have been kinda taking a break from homework (which is a good and a bad thing) but I've been able to spend some extended time in the Word, reading, and in prayer. I also went to Baby Girl's Club which is always one of the brighter spots of my week! Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do with my life and what God has called me to be.

I know the high standard that I have been called and I feel the call to do something that only God can fulfill. And as much as I know this I'm trying so hard to figure out what that exactly means. This brings a lot confusion and worry. I have been struggling a lot lately with being in college. I know a lot of people say this, but I truly hate school and I really have hated it my whole life. I hate going to classes and I hate doing homework. I like learning new things and gaining knowledge but I feel like I'm wasting my time and money here at school and if I could drop out and do something I love the rest of my life and having enough to live on I would be content. I just wish I could volunteer and be in ministry to others. I don't want a degree and have to endure the next two years of studies...Why can't I just volunteer the rest of my life?

My brother told me the quote, "Find the place where your greatest passions meet the world's deepest needs." (I think that's right). That's where I want to be. And right now I guess I need to be in school and continue to build up debt and all those nice things, but I'm only hoping it leads to something that I will love and be passionate about while meeting the needs of the world and fulfilling my desire to be a light unto the world and that I can be "Jesus with skin on" to those around me.

Going to AFrica this summer is something I'm so excited about being I feel like it is a part of fulfilling my purpose. And I can't wait to see what God has in store and I'll continue praying for patience with school and praying for guidance so that I can know that purpose that only God can fulfill!

His Blessings are new every morning

I was reading today in a book called, Life Together. It came highly recommended from my brother and I've only really been reading it in spurts through out this whole year, but it is really good and contains a whole lot of wisdom. The author was talking about how in the Bible there is a lot of emphasis on the morning and how people in scripture praised God and prayed in the morning. He gave many scripture references which was interesting because I never realized it was such a prominent theme.
One thing he said really stuck out to me and made me realize that I don't approach my days in the right manor or attitude for a child of God and follower of Christ. This is what it said,

"For Christians the beginning of the day should not be burdened and oppressed with besetting concerns for the days work. At the threshold of the new day stands the Lord who made it."

This greatly convicted me. I have not been having an attitude that reflects Christ and most mornings I wake up dreading the day ahead and counting down the days until I'm done with school. I am so ready to be done with school and leave for home, but that doesn't mean I need to discount each day and forget that the Creator of the universe made it. I need to stop only looking forward to what is ahead and accomplish my purpose each and every day. Some days I'm not exactly sure what that purpose is, but even if its just sharing love and a smile with someone...that should make my day worth it. So I'm working on it and praying that God gives me patience to finish out the year and a new perspective each morning. :)

I really like to blog. Sometimes it's about what I'm learning, sometimes about what's going on in life, sometimes I share my heart, sometimes I share a funny story or video, and sometimes I complain. But it's me. I am me. I am just a lump of clay being molded daily by the One who holds my life in His hands.