Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A heavy heart.

I just got back from Baby Girl's Club (BGC) and my heart is heavy and broken. I'm beginning to regret praying a prayer that I've said since before I left for Zambia. I've prayed that God would break my heart with the things that break His and that I would have the eyes of Jesus to see others they way he sees us. I'm regretting it...

I'm the leader of the eight and nine year olds at BGC and today we were doing prayer requests. These aren't the requests I'm used to. A little girl asked for prayer for her dad who is in jail, another whose uncle is "on the run", and another whose sister's baby might be taken away. They started talking about the custody of the baby when another little girl said oh that's what I was...a "custody baby". Little girls shouldn't have prayer requests like this, but they do and it's their life.

My heart breaks when an eleven year old girl tells us she's afraid and hates going home. Her dad just got put in jail and her mom married a drug dealer and they do drugs in the house. What kind of life is that?

How much easier would it be to block all these things out and not care? But I have prayed that prayer and it's coming true. My heart is breaking and breaking and breaking. I can't imagine what God goes through seeing his children going through what they go through. These little girls don't deserve the life they have.

I want to do something for them, but all I can do is love them. I have the chance for three hours a week to show them Jesus and give them the love they deserve, even if it's disciplining them (I had to break up a fight today!) or hugging them they deserve every ounce of what I have to offer. It isn't much but I pray that God can use me and the other BGC volunteers in their life to show them that people do care and are here for them. So if you think about it...send up a prayer for a baby girl and that God would break your heart with what breaks his. It hurts, but is worth it because it allows you to love that much more!

The Haves and the Have Nots

"Of the 6.4 billion people on the planet, about 1.2 billion are so poor they live on less than a dollar a day."

"In the world today there are about 160 billionaires and about 2 million millionaires, but there are approximately 100 million homeless people."

"Americans spend about $5 billion per year on diets to lower their caloric intake, while 400 million people around the world are undernourished to the point of physical deterioration."

These statements make me want to throw up and cry. They make me want to scream and question. They make me want to do something. These statements come from a book from my Social Problems class. Poverty...a social problem.

Why do so many people have, while so many people have nothing? What are we doing about it? How can we make those that are the "have nots" become those that have something. Something more than the one dollar a day they live off of.

When I read these statements faces come to mind. These aren't just statistics...they are people, families, single mothers, homeless men and little girls. As a wise person in my life says I'm facing statistics that have faces. Not only through the children in the streets and villages this summer, but driving on the road outside my own school and seeing the housing projects, working with Room In the Inn and hearing homeless men's stories, and going to Baby Girl's Club and experiencing the lives of these precious little girls.

Why do some people have and some have not? I really don't know the right answer to that, but I do know that because I "have", a responsibility comes with that. "To whom much is given much is required". Some people say we are blessed...yes maybe we are but what about those in poverty, are they not blessed? Maybe instead of just blessed we're privileged. We're privileged to have what we have and we need to be good stewards of that. Not only good stewards of our money because we really may not have an excess of that, but with our time. I've committed my life to being a good steward of my time, my money and my life. I can't stay in my comfortable so called blessed life while there are people in this world with nothing...I have to make a difference and I pray that God uses me in any way possible to accomplish that. :)

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The Journey of Life

Wow, a lot has happened in this last month or so. It's hard to believe that a month and a half ago I was in Zambia and experiencing the best summer of my life. It wasn't easy coming back home and back to school. I can for sure feel Satan working away at me and trying to find every way possible to make me forget what I learned and experienced this summer. I'm not gonna lie he has been doing a pretty good job. These last few weeks I think I have been letting him win and have been drowned in the temptation to think about all that was and all that happened and forget all that is and can be.
I am in this place for a purpose. I went to Zambia for a purpose and now I'm here for a purpose. Although I did have an amazing summer and as life changing as it was, I can't get stuck in that. As cliche as this may sound, life is a journey and it keeps going. I don't want to be left behind thinking of where maybe "I wish I was" but make the most of where I am.

I have so many great opportunities here at school to serve and to grow. Even though I'm not in a foreign country and pushed out of my comfort zone every single day, growth and service can still happen. I pray that God will continue to ignite that passion in my heart and not let me forget my purpose here on this earth.
I want to spend every single day loving to my best ability and serving. The girls on my floor are one way I'm so excited to serve! They are all so incredible and I already love them and can't wait to see what the year has to bring! Just being there for them makes my day worth it. And Baby Girl's Club is a passion that comes alive every time I see those little girls faces and I just want to love on them more and more every time I see them.

Life wasn't meant to be easy. Your situations and experiences change around you continually, but God doesn't. He is the same God as he was yesterday, today and will be tomorrow. That's why it's so comforting to know that my identity is in Him and not any other person, place or "experience" and that we have a consistent God.

So...yeah I may not be in Zambia anymore and yes it was an amazing and life changing experience but it happened and has shaped me but I need to keep on this journey of life. I need to be willing to be used by God wherever I may be and look for new opportunities to serve and be used.

I really like to blog. Sometimes it's about what I'm learning, sometimes about what's going on in life, sometimes I share my heart, sometimes I share a funny story or video, and sometimes I complain. But it's me. I am me. I am just a lump of clay being molded daily by the One who holds my life in His hands.