Weary.

Today a few people asked me if I was okay because I didn't look great. (They were quick to say not my appearance and I was quick to assure them I knew what they meant) :)

I knew what they meant because I knew what they were talking about it. I smiled today and I knew it didn't quite reach my eyes and that I appeared weighed down. I recently took the Strengths-finder survey and it said my top strength is Empathy. It makes so much sense. It explains why when something bad or unfair is happening to someone I care about it's hard for me to forget about it and not worry about it. That pretty much explains this weight and burden. But this verse keeps running through my head:

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ³⁰ For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Thank God for this statement. It gives me hope and I've found it to be so true. These burdens make me want to quit sometimes. I feel that pricking in the back of my mind that whispers to my soul, "Don't you wish you could live a care-free, "happy" life? You have the resources and the ability to live somewhere safer, to make more money, and to not be weighed down by others burdens." I would be lying if my mind doesn't entertain the idea for a minute, but then my heart and soul kick in. No I don't wish that. In fact, that's the last thing I want. The charge that keeps running through my mind is:

When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

 

So of course my life could be "easier", but I refuse to believe that's the way we're supposed to live. I know the charge Christ has placed on my life and I know I am exactly where He would have me be right now. The idea of living a nice, care-free, comfortable life while pursuing the American Dream is the exact opposite of what I believe as followers of Christ we should be pursuing. I know I'm meant to be a part of God's Kingdom coming to earth as it is in heaven and to love others the way Christ loves me. And if along this journey burdens come and I feel weary and life seems hard...well praise the Lord we serve a God who tells us He'll carry those burdens for us.

Thankful

I realized I haven't blogged in awhile...I guess that's what happens when time gets away from you. I sat down to write a deep and thoughtful post and I couldn't put my words together. My overwhelming thoughts these days are just filled with gratitude and joy. It's funny to look back to January and how I just felt in a dark place with not much going on and now I just feel lighter and able to find joy each day, especially in the little things these days:

All the trees are blooming here in Nashville and they're so pretty. The weather has been beautiful and I've laid outside in the sun the past two days. I don't need to spend money at the tanning bed to get ready for my upcoming Florida trip since I can just sit outside! Thankful.

I just love March and March Madness is one of the biggest reasons. I love college basketball and there's just something fun about filling out your brackets, watching upsets, and competing with your friends and family to see who has the best bracket. (However, it's not fun when your team loses...my poor Spartans.)

I know it may seem weird to be thankful for cereal, but I am. It's the only consistent thing I buy at the grocery each week and it just hits the spot. I'm especially thankful for my new found favorite cereal, Kroger brand blueberry almond crunch.

There's a lot more random little things I could post and these days I seem to find joy in the dumbest things like cereal, but hey I'm realizing we're not meant to go through our days thankless, cynical and pessimistic. So if I want to find joy in my late night bowl of Blueberry Almond Crunch cereal then so be it.