Stars.

At the after-school program on Monday I was helping a group make thank-you cards for their teachers. This was my conversation with a 2nd grader.

2nd grader: "I want to put stars on mine!"
Me: "Okay, that would be perfect. Just draw some on there."
2nd grader with tears in her eyes: "But Miss Abby I don't know how to make stars!"
Me: "Well today you're going to learn and you're going to be the best star-maker ever!"


The next ten minutes or so were spent teaching this precious little child how to make stars. She caught on quickly and was very proud of herself. Here is her practice sheet.

Quite honestly, I was excited too. It was great seeing her face light up and see her excitement and precision as she put each star on her teacher's card. When her mom arrived we both went up to her excited to show her this new talent. Her mom looked at us blankly, gave a polite nod and said, "Let's go we're late." Both our faces fell. I was so sad her mom didn't join in our celebration.

Fast forward to today. We had a final fun day at the after-school program because it's the last day of the school year. It was the end of the day and I was tired and more than ready to be done when this same little girl came up to me, held up the craft we had made and said excitedly, "Miss Abby, look!" I glanced up as I gathered my things and said, "That's nice". Her face fell. I looked closer and saw all the tiny stars she had drawn. I immediately looked her in the eye and with genuine enthusiasm told her, "Oh my goodness look at those beautiful stars.  You are so good at making those!" And her eyes lit up and the smile was back on her face.

I don't say this to draw attention to a mother who isn't the most attentive, a 2nd graders success in drawing, or my ability as a master teacher of star-making (haha), but it just made me think about how often we pass up the opportunities each day to find joy in the little things. How I got so excited about something one day and the next day miss it because I can't see through the busyness and tiredness of my own little world.

What if we took the time to truly enjoy the little things in life? What if we saw the world through the eyes of a child and realized how joy can be found in the small things like learning to draw a star for the first time, seeing the first firefly of the year, or capturing a lady bug? What if we just stopped for a moment each day to be thankful for what we have? What if?

Fulfilled?

I got a call from my mentor and friend from TNU this week asking if I would help her out and allow a class she was teaching for the Salvation Army to come to Harvest Hands. She asked me to share my story, explain what HH does and talk about Christian community development. All of the people in the class work for the Salvation Army and the way the Salvation Army works is in some ways quite a bit different than the guiding principles of HH and CCDA. I never thought I loved "public speaking" but I realized, especially after today, that when I'm talking about something I am passionate about...I could talk all day. :)

They asked questions after I was done talking. One of the guys asked me something and our conversation basically went like this:

Guy: "So you said when you were sharing your story that people didn't always understand why you wanted to do this. Your parents weren't thrilled you were living in not the safest neighborhood and people didn't get why wanted to do what you do. You went to a good school, had a quality education and have the chance to live differently. You could make more money and live somewhere safer. Do you really feel fulfilled living this way?"

Me: After looking at him for a few seconds not quite sure I heard him right, my answer went something like this, "Yes. I feel fulfilled. I can honestly answer that question with a deep, resounding down into in my soul, YES. I know this is what I'm supposed to be doing and it doesn't matter to me what people think or the fact that I could be doing something different, make more money, or live in a "nicer part of town". God calls us to love our neighbor, serve the least of these, and be part of his Kingdom coming to Earth in the here and now, not later. I am fulfilled because I know I'm part of that. Yes, there are days when it's hard and the brokenness of our kids, teenagers, families and community overwhelms me. I'll question why I don't just quit and do something "easier", but when I think about living that "American dream", having a job I don't really like so I can make more money and live in a big house where I don't know my neighbors...that seems like the most unfulfilling thing I can do."

They all proceeded to stare at me like they weren't quite sure what to do with me. "Do I feel fulfilled?" This question has been jumping around in my head all day. I've never had anyone ask me that before.

I feel fulfilled because I know God has called me to and put a passion deep inside my being to do what I do.

I feel fulfilled because each time I hear one of my teenagers say I love you, they know they're going to hear it in return and know it's true.

I feel fulfilled because each time I see one of our kid's cry they know they're going to be comforted by people that truly care about them.

I feel fulfilled because I have found community. 

I feel fulfilled because I have friendships in my life that matter. Sometimes that means you give more than you take, sometimes you take more than you give, my life is full of great people.

I feel fulfilled because I know I am the beloved of a King and that simple fact more than anyone's opinion defines who I am and I have a chance to share that truth with some beautiful girls.

I feel fulfilled because I know my life isn't about me. If I can be used even in the slightest to show God's love to each person I meet, it's worth it.

I feel fulfilled because in the midst of the broken and shitty world we're surrounded by I see, even if just a glimpse, the Kingdom of God shine through in different ways every. single. day.