Who would have thought...

So today I was dreading my first homework assignment. Let me just tell you I was not prepared for classes to start at all! My mind is just not in it. It looks like Tuesday/Thursday classes will be fun and eventful and then Mon./Weds/Fri. classes will be boring and not fun at all! But we are just going to focus on the positive for now. So I was dreading my first homework assignment because it was to read 50 pages. However, when I started reading I was surprised to find out that the book I have to read is soooo good! So it's for my Business Communications class and its called "How to Win Friends and Influence People". In just the first 50 pages I have learned so much. Not only practical advice to my future career, but also lessons that can be applied to my every day life. The first part talked about how in today's society a common way to go about things is by critizing and condemning others. He had countless stories and examples about this and his main point was how much better your life and others will be if we stop focusing on critizing other people and be encouraging and build others up instead. Instead of condemning people and critizing them we should take a moment and stop and try our best to understand them. We have no right to speak ill of someone and instead of wasting our time and energy critizing someone we should be focusing on improving ourselves first. I know my time would be way better spent if instead of critizing others, whether out loud or to myself, if I would focus my time and energy on understanding them and putting myself in their shoes. I wish it wasn't so easy for us as humans to be so quick to judge or condemn others and I would like to say that it isn't something I do often, but I do it more then I would care to admit. It is so easy to look down on others and focus on their faults instead of our own. So anway...who would have thought that a class book could teach me so much in one night. There is a lot more good stuff in it and I would highly recommend it!
And on a random note...I talked to Jake today through Skype and it pretty much made my day!! He is doing well and is moved into his apartment and adjusting to Chinese life I guess you could say.

A new year...

So…it is a new year and I’m excited, nervous, scared, anxious, and happy. I know there is a lot of new experiences out there waiting for me and I know this year is going to be a lot different then the last. I have a lot of hopes and expectations for the year and am worried they won’t be met. I sometimes feel like I’m not cut out for the position that I’m in and wonder if I will be good at it.

I want to make an impact on my girls. I want to be a welcoming person to them and be an example in Christ. I want them to be able to look at me and be like, I want what she has. And I want to do all of this as Christ as my motivation and nothing else. I can’t be motivated by the desire to be well liked or well known.

I need to keep Christ the center of everything I do and do what I do out of my desire to honor Him. I can’t do things simply because I will receive something in return, like recognition, but I must do things to bring glory and honor to his name. The question I must ask myself every day with every action is, who is this giving glory and recognition to? And what is my motivation behind this? Everything I do must be motivated by the desire to please God and then everything I receive extra is just a blessing. That needs to be my mind set.

I do have a passion to impact and encourage these girls and I admit that I do have a desire to be well liked. I can’t let this desire influence me in my role or impact my feelings for other people who I may feel like are having more of an impact. We all have our place and I may influence some more then others while others may influence some more than me. I want to be obedient to God’s voice and do what he wants me to do.

I want Christ to become more and more real in my life each and every day. I want his love to flow out of me from the inside out. I must decrease and he must increase. I want Him to be so evident in my life that it is noticeable. I want my speech to build people up and encourage others, and not full of gossip and negativity.

I want to be a lump of clay in God’s hands so that he can mold me into whatever he wants. I no longer want control. I have no idea what is best for me and what is going to happen in my life, God is the only one that knows that. So why would I want control?

I want what I want to be what God wants. I want to be so in line with him and his plan for me that I know I’m making the right decision and I’m able to discern what’s right and what’s wrong. No longer do I want my actions and personality to be motivated by whether or not people will like me, but instead motivated by my love for Jesus and desire to honor him.

So it is a new year. And yeah it is exciting, nerve racking and scary, but all those fears and anxious thoughts are pushed aside when I think about all God can do in me and through me this next year. I know there will be ups and downs, but God is faithful and he is with me every step of the way and with that reassurance, how can I worry?

Just a lump of clay

So this is my first blog. It seems to be the trend these days and ya know it's a place where you can just get your thoughts out and let others know what's going on in your life. I doubt anyone will read this, but who knows I don't really care. :) I just enjoy reading other people's so I wanted to start one. It might sound stupid but when I made it up I was like man I need to think of a cool title. I thought about this upcoming year and how my goal is to become more and more the person God wants me to be. I want to be molded into a woman after his own heart, hence the name of the blog, just a lump of clay. Because that is all I am. I am a lump of clay in God's hands. He can do whatever he wants with me and I want him to. I want him to mold me and shape me into what he wants me to become. He has control. So that's my new motto in life...I'm just a lump of clay. I don't have the control, but God does and by all means...that's quite all right with me! :)