Windows.

Tonight I laid on my bed with my window open. There was a Kenny Chesney/Tim McGraw concert happening at LP Field and I could hear it clearly from inside my house so I decided, "Why not listen for free to a concert people had to pay lots of money to hear." The advantages of living in Nashville and close to downtown. Anyway...


The concert ended and I left the window open. So many sounds permeated my house. Cars driving by. People walking by talking. Sirens. Dogs barking. Bugs making noise and birds chirping from the overgrown lot next door. Car horns. City life.


Then I shut my window and closed the blinds. Some sounds disappeared...some sounds were muted. 


As soon as I shut the window I felt less connected, less in tune with what was going on outside, less like anyone out there would actually want to know what was going on inside. Now I was just alone.


I feel like I do this to life sometimes, shut the window and close the blinds. I don't want to be brought into anymore brokenness and I don't want to experience any more of the pain that is reality. I deceive myself into thinking that the world is muted and start looking inward because that's a whole lot easier than giving a damn. Somtimes I'm deceived into believing I am alone and no one out there really wants to know that I'm here. I am deceived in believing I am okay alone and why would the people around me really want to know what's going on with me...if I'm truly vulnerable maybe people wouldn't like me anymore. 

Then God pulls the blinds up and opens this window of my soul and...

I'm reminded of the community I have around me.
I'm completely honest with a friend and instead of passing judgement, they look past my messiness and continue to listen and love me.
I'm reminded that God seeks to redeem this world and the brokenness in it and He intends to use us to do that.
Old friendships are strengthened and new friendships are started and it's an affirmation of the fact that we're called to live this life together.

I realize that when I pray continually for God to break my heart for what breaks His and to give me eyes to see...He's just answering that prayer.

I'm re-connected to my community, this city, this world and I know that what makes me valuable is the  fact that I am a child of God who is defined by that and nothing else and that He has called me to give a damn because He does.

Maybe I need to start keeping the windows open more often.